Feb 19, 2004
Forgot about this place.

Posted at 10:23 pm by imasmartjock88
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Jan 27, 2004
First Field Trip Since 5th Grade

Feeling: Happy
Hearing: "Come Clean" - Hilary Duff

     Today was a pretty good day!  We took a field trip to the Limestone Vocational School during third block, and that was alright. Actually, I was bored throughout, but some of the girls there were looking really good. When Austin and I walked into that nurse class thingy, a lot of the girls started giggling and whispering stuff. I don't like how Austin is so feakishly muscular, but I honestly think we both got equal giggles! We took a tour of some 14-15 career classes there. None really interested me except the mechanic-type class (just now I forget the name) and the other costmetology or whatever thing (purely for the girls). The guys and I walked in there and it was literally just babes, and almost every one of them was sure hot. I joked about maybe signing up for the class, and so I took a brochure from the instructor, and then Austin walks back to her and goes "If Bobby's taking this class, I am too." It surprised me because, come on, it's Austin, one of the best footballers in the entire school. I used to look up to him, but I guess it's mutual now? If there's one person I'd find it most interesting to fight it'd be Austin, I've never seen anyone so young with a physique like his until I came down here. Damn I envy that. That stupid-ass skin condition I have can only be outgrown said my dermatologist, so I can't do much to catch up with him, but I am getting a new membership to the fitness center here soon. Next year it's time to start playing football again, regardless of "hives." Can't wait.

     I was listening to the radio while doing my homework and I heard this ad about this acting/modeling agency called Aqua Matrix coming to Huntsville for one day only and I freaked. But then I hear that it was today and you had to be there by 6 p.m.! I look at my clock and seeing that it's 10-'til, I got real pissed. Thankfully, they left their web address, so I'll check that out right now. I'm not sure how good these guys are, but I'm curious. Every time I look at myself in the mirror I get a huge morale boost, no matter how down I am. Going back to the trip we took today, in one of the classes, there mirrors covering all the walls, and I noticed myself from a lot of angles, and wow! I've never done that before, so I never noticed what I look like from all views. All narcissism and egotism aside, I look like a fucking badass. Before, I just assumed I looked good. I honestly couldn't find one angle where I didn't look "handsome model." And all these other kids at my school look so young. Even my new P.E. coach thought I was 24 that first day. Oh my God, I can't stop thinking about what it'll be like when I finally get the convertible.


Posted at 06:49 pm by imasmartjock88
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Jan 21, 2004
Young and Hopeless

Feeling: Poetic
Hearing: "The Young and the Hopeless" - Good Charlotte

     I'm listening to Good Charlotte and suddenly I feel like I'm nothing. Every time I hear this song I want to let it all out and cry. Right now, I'm recording this feeling. Feeling "young and hopeless." By the same token, the song also inspires me. It inspires me in that I wish I was myself more often. It's so hard for me right now, especially being a minority. Sometimes I wish I had a home, I wish I knew who my relatives were, I wish I had a best friend...

     So I don't get all teary-eyed, I'll mention this other thing I wanted to record. It's nothing of importance, but I thought I'd write anyway. This newfound "locker neighbor" of mine is really getting the best of me. I've already seen her bare booty and I don't even have her name. Stuff like this just makes me wonder what's become of the world. Not only that, but it also makes me contemplate whether or not to stand out and shine, or follow the tide. Being myself always comes along with the same great fear. I get so scared when I think of people picking on me or not accepting me. And then, I could always be the popular good guy. Whenever I'm home alone, that's when I feel myself. Actually, I technically am always myself. Maybe it's just hard to see it when I'm in a foreign country speaking a second language? Wow, that just hit me. I'm going to go and think about this some more. I doubt I'll change, I just want to remember this feeling - "young and hopeless."

     Oh! And my website is looking really good. I'm going to tell some people about it when it's finished. I'm pretty excited about putting up photo galleries and stuff. It's coming along so well, in fact, that I also started on my Dead or Alive website. My schedule is pretty clear this week so they'll both hopefully be done by next Monday. This HTML stuff is a piece of cake. There's nothing I won't be good at once I understand computers!

Posted at 04:58 pm by imasmartjock88
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Jan 14, 2004
What Was I Gonna Say...

Feeling: Confused
Hearing: "Damn! (Remix)" - Youngbloodz

     I came online because there was something I wanted to record, but I just now forgot what. I guess I'll review today instead. Pretty normal! Can't really remember much worth mentioning. I woke up less than an hour ago. I fell asleep like shortly before I was supposed to get picked up for MidPoint so I missed that. I was gonna call Melissa to say I'm sorry but I gotta stop that. If my father got even half the chicks he's told me stories about, then it should be the right thing to do. It's time to start playing the role of the man again. I got a little soft last summer but it's on now. Right now I'm listening to that mix CD I got from Freddy and the chicano rap is simply awesome. And holy crap, the Damn remix is, like, breathtaking. Just when the song couldn't get any older! Speaking of which, he told me he got to feel on Laura and Betty's booties near the machines. I wasn't much surprised, maybe he's also got some player gene in him. I don't know why he limits himself to Latina girls though. You have to go "around the world" to be a true player. I'd like to call myself that but I can't bring myself to when a girl is around. I don't want her to get the wrong impression.

     And we started that Business Technology Essentials class this semester. It's amazingly boring but it's kind of cool in that I learned something. I learned that instead of flipping burgers at Burger King you can instead take up a secretary-type job at the same age and everything and it pays the same or better. Apparently, professional adult typists have an average typing speed of 60-80 words per minute. Today I got 71 words with 0 typing errors - way, way faster than anyone in the whole class. I've never sat in front of a computer before last January and I'm already making HTML sites and typing at a professional speed. I came up with an eccentric phrase last night:

     "A nerd can understand football but it certainly doesn't make him a jock. By the same token, a jock can understand computers but that doesn't make him a nerd - not even close."

     That way, no matter what, I'll never feel nerdy when doing so good on here. Besides, I've heard that most girls are turned on by multi-talented guys. When I think, no one here can drop a 240-pound linebacker and make a good-looking website, too.

     Lately, I've been noticing that I never laugh. In any group I'm with I'm always the only one not laughing (at least not as hard). I figure it's a sign of maturity, because I sure ain't stuck-up and I certainly smile more than enough. I don't know but it's kind of been bothering me. And oddly enough, Chris pointed it out today. If it is maturity, I'm more than happy.

     Well, the future is around the corner and I've started making career plans already. I got a few jobs in mind - physician (most likely not), architect, or some kind of designer. Designing seems like such a gay job, but some have an annual salary well above $100,000. That's a lot of money for doing something that you're naturally gifted at. Same with architecture. I'm just not satisfied with the average salaries for either job and they both seem bland and boring, that's the problem. I want something bigger, but to be a doctor it takes so many years in school and I'm afraid I can't commit. So that's really more of a dream job. I do see myself doing big things, but less likely in an Emergency Room. Modeling life probably won't last more than three years, and if I don't get picked up for acting I guess I might do some of that stuff. I have yet to find out how much a psychologist makes, but if it's good I'll throw that up there too.

Posted at 11:19 pm by imasmartjock88
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Jan 10, 2004
Them Dreams

Feeling: Chill
Hearing: Nothing

     Hey journal. I had another one of those amazing dreams last night - this time it was Jenna. I woke up remembering the dream pretty vividly, and though it wasn't sex-oriented for the most part, that last scene stuck in my head for a while after waking up. I decided I'd come on and record it so I remember just how sexually unyielding a person can be in the dream world... It was just me in the art classroom, and I had just came in from being beaten up in the hallway outside by Jordan and her friend. It was really weird! She kept kicking me in the knee and this "friend" kept kissing it sensually after I laid down from the pain. I couldn't make out her face. Anyway, I was looking through some papers on the desk and suddenly Jenna comes walking out from the closet thing in the back, not paying any attention to me nor I her. Then she bends over by the window, wearing them tight pants as always, and turns around, giving me one of the most arousing looks! Though we don't know each other that well in reality, she sure seemed to know me good in that dream! It really turned me on and I took action as I would any other day. She is such a gorgeous girl, I adore her almost. Before I knew it, we were up doggy style in the classroom with no one else in sight. It felt so real, the way her eyes met mine felt like it was really going on. I'm most definately gonna try and do something with her before I move or else I'll regret it forever. I don't know if she does stuff but since I saw that one dude feel up her butt only to get a smile out of her, I'm betting she does. Athens rocks so hard.

Posted at 08:20 pm by imasmartjock88
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Jan 9, 2004
Second Semester

Feeling: Chill
Hearing: "X-Ray" - Dead or Alive 3 Soundtrack

     It's the second semester and things are doing good as usual. All my teachers (except Mrs. Beaver) are coaches so that's definately cool. Every class gave us assigned seats but I had enough luck to get seated next to the brighter, better people. Jordan, Courtney, Austin, Melissa, all that. And I'm pretty happy since I'm also doing alright everywhere. I passed all my classes from the previous semester but home ec is still in question.

     Yesterday we went to go see my dermatologist in Madison. He gave me some $200+ prescription for any future break-outs and a (most-likely) bogus prescription for the hives I get while working out. He said the latter can't be cured with anything so I was bummed about that, but he did say that I can outgrow it as my father did. Either way, I'm cool as long as I don't ever get break-outs again. This stuff looks good, especially if I plan on hitting the modeling scene later on.

     Today was only a little out of the ordinary. My father let me drink beer straight out the fridge, and actually encouraged me to. He's offered me cigs and vodka and whatnot before, so it wasn't really a big surprise. And also, I got Congo's number at P.E. He said he's got all the goods, even acid, so I'm probably gonna buy from him. Britney, that half-Italian half-Puerto Rican hottie seems to have a thing for me. She even wants to smoke with me sometime. I didn't get to ask for her digits today but I'll be sure to on Monday. Freddy tells me she'll let you do anything to her, and from what I heard her talking today it's so true.

     Well, that about does it. I think I'll get back to working on my website sometime soon. Yeah, lately I've been really enjoying just chillin' out. There's really so much potential with the girls right now - more than ever. But I've been thinking to myself, do I really need that at this moment? I think it won't do me harm to just wait until my parents get their own place near Beverly Hills. Everyone who's been to Cali says the girls there are the best anyway. I'm gonna work on keeping platonic friendships until I move. I figure I'll just "let it all out" right before I do anyway. I don't want to be like every other guy I know, I want to be different for a change. Being friends is so much more unawkward, I like it.

Posted at 04:38 pm by imasmartjock88
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